She calls me with brokenness in her voice and my heart reaches out and breaks too……..
A year ago today a friend of mine lost her husband; heart attack on the golf course. Can you imagine? You kiss your husband good bye to go have a wonderful day, and then he is gone? This whole grief thing mixed up with sadness and loss is so hard and what do you say to someone?
I currently am reading Ann Voskamp’s book entitled: THE BROKEN WAY. If you want an insight into what being broken is all about and why we go through such things, I highly recommend this book.
PSALM 31:12 “I AM LIKE A BROKEN VESSEL.”
Our writer of Psalms, King David, was familiar with being broken. So many of the Psalms touch on that very thing. We all are in good company when we experience brokenness……..it is part of life and no one is immune from it.
Early on in Ann’s book I read this statement on page 26:
“there is no growth without change, no change without surrender, no surrender without wound – no abundance without breaking.”
I get the growth happening with change, but what she says about no surrender without a wound deeply touches me…….it does make sense somehow.
My year of walking with my word: surrender, has not been easy and there is truth in being wounded to the point of surrender. Surrender of pride is a tough thing and realizing that it’s not what I want, but what GOD wants is a breaking of one’s will for sure. GOD has shown me over and over that HIS “will be done”…….period.
But in the breaking of one’s will, like Ann said, does it really lead to abundance? Is there an abundance of love and grace pouring in us, if our hearts are broken over and over, and don’t they become more gentle and loving? I can see more clearly now, that GOD’S plan is really all about for us to have a heart like HIS. And if I truly strive for that, then I will be broken in all sorts of ways……….HIS ways.
I don’t like it when my heart breaks and there are no words, but I don’t ever want to get so immune to the world that nothing touches my soul because I have built a wall around my heart to protect it. Don’t we all really protect ourselves? We don’t want to feel broken, but if we allow ourselves to do just that, then GOD has a plan where the tears will eventually lead to healing and abundance. Only the touch of GOD’S love can do this, only HIS hand on us, holding us, caring for us. HIS love is like a healing medicine on an open wound.
YOU CAN’T LOVE WITHOUT FEELING PAIN AND BEING BROKEN.
The touch of the Holy Spirit will leave you vulnerable, you will be broken whether you like it or not……..tears will come when you least expect them. But a breaking heart allows GOD’S love to pour in, and the result is an abundant heart of love and mercy for those around you. I am drawn to GOD’S holy grace, I need it and so does everyone else I know.
Never shy away then from feeling that brokenness inside, embrace it as best you can, cry and deal gently with it. GOD knows us and will heal our hearts as we grow them up for others, because in the end, HE only wants us to have a heart…… just like HIS!